You boys want to know why this is my favorite position for pictures?

Because I love showing off how I don’t have a weakness that you have. It makes me feel powerful.

I’m completely exposing my crotch; you could slap me there, kick me there, and it still wouldn’t do a damn thing to me. Whereas you could be wearing clothes, but all I have to do is tap you there and you’re down!

Get it into your heads, boys: I don’t have a penis. I don’t have balls. You can never hurt me like I can hurt you.

Your balls are shackles that weigh you down, and I have been liberated. Look at my flat crotch, and understand that it makes me forever superior to you.