You think I’d be able to wear these shorts if I was a boy? There’s no way.

These shorts are way too short and tight for anyone with a penis to wear them. That’s why I love wearing them: I get to show off how I can wear something you can’t.

That’s right, it’s not uncomfortable for me. It doesn’t hurt me, I can smack myself in the crotch over and over and it doesn’t hurt me at all.

Don’t you wish you could do what I can? But you can’t, because of your stupid penis and balls.