OK fine, I lost the dare, I have to play soccer with nothing on.

Fortunately, it’s not a problem for me. Since I don’t have a penis, I can run just fine without it flopping all over the place.

And since I don’t have balls, I don’t have to worry about getting hit down there. Even if the ball nails me right in the crotch, I can keep on playing, no problem.

Really, it’s no different than how I normally play. My soccer shorts are just a thin layer of cloth, a superficial covering. I don’t need them for protection and support like you guys do.