I once got hit in the crotch when I was a teenager.

I was a tomboy skateboarder and hung out with all the punk boys. I wore the baggy pants and everything. One day when I was sliding on a handrail, I slipped and straddled the rail. Thankfully my feet just reached the ground and took most of the fall, but my crotch still landed right on the rail. All my friends winced so bad, I could see the pain on their faces. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt, but it wasn’t that bad. I rubbed my crotch, walked it off, and was back to skating within a minute. 

Let me tell you, I could see the jealousy on their faces. If that happened to them, they’d be down for at least 15 minutes. I didn’t have to go through that pain because I don’t have balls or a penis, I didn’t have a weak spot like them. They all told me how lucky I was that I didn’t have balls, and it’s true, I felt lucky.

The rest of the day was fun, I knew they all had boners because they were thinking about how I didn’t have balls or a penis. Watching them try to skate hunched over trying to hide their boners was hilarious.